I've finally got a new layout up...if you're not in 1024x768 mode, then the screen might scroll waaaay across for you, and I apologize for that. And even if you are in 1024x768 mode, there might still be some scrollage...I apologize for that as well.

As a note, if you don't recognize the lyric in my header, it's from Jason Mraz's "You and I Both", a song that I've been obsessed with for the past 2 days. In some twisted way, it's reflecting my mood right now, and plus, it has the recurring idea of "words", which totally works since everything works around "words"...in my world, at least. In addition, I thought that "words" have a lot to do with Mr. Cohen up there since he's so darn witty and good with words. It's sort of a stretch to associate the two, but please, people, work with me here.

I came a conclusion tonight. Mostly through the contemplation of the thought that my life isn't some kind of cliched romantic comedy. I'm not speaking about one situation in particular, (okay, maybe as a basis, I am...) but rather, it's more of a general note. What I mean is that we always think in terms of "good" and "bad". You know, the two main characters are supposed to get together in the end, live happily ever after. The significant others, or others who are also in pursuit, of said two main characters are deemed the ones who should be pushed out of the picture in order for fate to work it's powers. Unfortunately, and I'm sure all of you know this already... but it doesn't work that way. Someone very wise once said to me, the one who you have your heart wrapped around will always have his or her heart wrapped around someone else. It's majorly harsh, but so true. I mean, what makes one think that "the other" isn't also in a movie of his or her own? Except in that movie, you end up being the desperate character who just looks pathetic and is likened to a loser, for lack of a better description. You know, you're that character the audience hates because you're the obvious obstacle getting in the way of a greater, more sublime force. In the end, that's all you become...an object; Not a person, no, just a motif that exists as a means to an end. At the end, nobody cares what happened to you as long as they don't have to hear from you again.

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic...think of what I've got instead of what I haven't got, tuck it under my belt as another experience, another way in which I can feign apathy in the face of pain.

Hmm...I get these spells of extreme neurosis sometimes that even scare myself......

:: Emily 12:53 AM [+] ::